NOTHING FUNNY IN NUKES
Why are we laughing?
The President of the United States is off his rocker and has his finger on the trigger, the leader of North Korea is one crazy bastard with a ballistic missile pointed our way, the president of Russia is a lunatic with 7,300 nuclear warheads sitting around, and the president of China is crazy like a fox and has 260 warheads at his disposal. All three countries have successfully hacked our government and/or private industry.
And let’s not even get into who’s got what in the Middle East.
It was all fun and fodder for social media and “SNL” until Friday when the above-mentioned crazy bastard of North Korea tested an intercontinental ballistic missile that appears capable of reaching California.
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We are in the dangerous grip of a worldwide cult of personality like the one that brought us WWII’s maniacal Adolf Hitler, sociopathic Benito Mussolini and unindicted war criminal Emperor Hirohito.
The only difference is that in 1941 our President wasn’t a narcissistic nutter, and the bad guys didn’t have nukes.
Those who don’t know history are condemned to laugh at it. Until we can’t.
RESIGN OF THE TIMES
Didn’t I tell you that Donald Trump was going to have to stop firing people and start “resigning them?”
SEE IT: N. Korea fires second intercontinental ballistic missile
He thinks we don’t get it that the House is falling down around his ears and all around us if he says his staff resigned after he relentlessly tweet-slimes them.
On Friday, just as Mrs. Scaramucci was resigning Mr. Scaramucci, Mr. Scaramucci was getting the crazy house chief of staff, Reince Priebus resigned. For the good, Priebus said, of the White House.
Were they all born without the gene for shame? Yes.
Now I’m just looking forward to the day the President resigns for the good of the country.
A look at top White House staffers in danger of getting the boot
Too bad that would leave Mike Pence, who’s worse, because he’s a true believer — not a yutz who changes his views as often as Trump changes wives.
KATHY STILL GUILTY – OF BEING UNFUNNY
In case you’ve been suffering sleepless nights worrying about Kathy Griffin being investigated by the feds for posing with a bloody Donald Trump mask, take a breath.
“I am no longer under federal investigation,” she tweeted. “The case is closed, I have been completely exonerated. Finally.”
Exonerated by the feds is not exonerated by the public. What she did was not funny, but the desperate act of a woman trying desperately to be funny.
Kathy Griffin says she’s not being investigated for Trump photo
BOYS WILL BE JERKS
Conversation overheard between the GOP’s Rep. Buddy Carter and Rep. Blake Farenthold at the all-you-can-eat buffet table:
BC: “Either these little girls start to do what we big boys want, or we’ll just have to go across the hall and snatch a knot in their a–.”
BF: “You go, bro! I’m so in. I can’t wait to snatch a knot in their a– —if I knew what that meant.”
BC: “Why son, it means that we’ll go over to their House and inflict some serious physical harm on these Senate bitches.”
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BF: “Yeah, whup their a–es but GOOD, Buddy!”
BC: “No, Blake, I get to whup whup Senator Lisa Murkowski. You get to do the other thing.”
BF: “What other thing, Buddy?”
BC: “You get to shoot Senator Dragon Ladies Shelley Moore Capito and Susan Collins. Remember you already challenged them to a duel the other day?”
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BF: “Oh right.”
BC: “Next time, though, Blake, do me a favor and stand away from the buffet table, and stop wearing footsie pajamas before you actually challenge a woman to a duel. They’ll laugh at you. Again.”
BF: “OK, Buddy. But what do I do if one of ’em accepts and then shoots me first, or beats the s— out of me as Jack Reed said, or worse, snatches a knot in my ass?”
BC: “Well, for God’s sake, then duel before we repeal Obamacare.”
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BF: “But why, Buddy?”
BC: “Because without health care you’d just have to bleed to death. Not pretty.”
BF: “Damn. That’s strict.”
BC: “Boys rule, Blake, boys rule!”
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