STASI: Fox’s Eric Bolling is the latest fool to sext pics of tool

Working at Fox News must be like living in Anthony Weiner’s shorts. Every time you think they’ve got their male members under control, another one pops back up.

Now it’s Eric Bolling, longtime Fox News host/co-host of news shows such as “The Five” and “The Fox News Specialists,” who has been accused of texting unsolicited pics of his moving man parts to horrified female colleagues, according to HuffPost.

What was he trying to do — seduce them or sicken them?

Whatever he thought he was doing, he clearly believed was that he wasn’t making public the identity of his private parts.

Fox host accused of texting lewd images to colleagues: report

Oops.

He/they/it got ID’d quicker than “CSI” can ID fingerprints on a glass. No, it’s not because his accusers recognized the junk-out-of-his trunks but because the news putz’s (and I mean that literally) phone number was visible on the texts. Never send a dirty middle-aged man to do a pervy young man’s job.

Clearly, the atmosphere at Fox was such that the accusers may not have felt comfortable going to HR, but why they didn’t go to the authorities has not been explained.

Fox informed the Daily News of its plans to investigate the newest allegationsand then Bolling was suspended Saturday.

More puzzling is Bolling’s “excuse,” which his lawyer, Michael J. Bowe, tried to peddle to the HuffPost

“Mr. Bolling recalls no such inappropriate communications, does not believe he sent any such communications,” he actually said, “and will vigorously pursue his legal remedies for any false and defamatory accusations that are made.”

What? He believes that Bolling doesn’t believe he texted out his tool like a fool, but if did do such a thing, he doesn’t recall it?

Either Bolling’s got a fool for a lawyer, or he’s got tremendous mental problems. Or both.

I pick both.

If this is the best Bolling’s man-on-the-case can come up with, well then said penis-texter shouldn’t have lawyered up, he should have lawyered down. Any $ 3 ambulance chaser could have come up with a better excuse.

Here’s the rub, no pun intended: How could Bolling have total recall on Fox News of everything President Trump has done right and everything President Obama did wrong in eight long years, but he can’t remember taking smarmy selfies of his sex pistol and sending them to colleagues?

What’s astounding (OK, all of it is astounding) is that this self-righteous phony was all over the Anthony Weiner story like stink on a sewer lid and even texted: “text us if you want a fair & balanced intv **NO SEFIES PLEASE** (sic).”

Words to live by Bolling, words to live by.

Bolling even once asked contributors Michelle Fields and Katie Pavlich to rank Democratic political perverts as though sexual perversion against women was all fun and games. They should have walked out and he should have been sacked on the spot. They didn’t and he wasn’t.

Worse, if Bolling IS guilty of more than Fox male hubris, how could he have told NJ.com, “When the lights go down on my TV career, the next step is running for Senate.”

The lights are down, Bolling boy. But hey, don’t run for Senate. Start with Congress. You’ve shown you’re at least as qualified as Anthony’s Weiner.

JULY 22, 2015 FILE PHOTO.

How could Bolling not remember taking smarmy selfies of his sex pistol and sending them to colleagues?

(Richard Drew/AP)

HIDE YOUR CARDS, HIDE YOUR STUFF

If you trust an escort with your credit card or pick up a stranger in a bar who can’t wait to spend the night with you and your flashy Rolex, then you deserve what you get, which doesn’t include being shocked when said escort/pickup robs you.

This week, two men who are so dumb it’s impossible to imagine how they manage to put on their own socks let alone earn big bucks, found out that there is no such thing as a hooker with a heart of gold. But there are hookers — okay, escorts and strangers — who have your gold at heart and hand.

In Illinois, drug company executive Scott Kennedy gave an escort, Crystal Lundberg, use of his company credit card, whereupon Crystal immediately put it to good use. She spent $ 5.8 million before the company caught on and gave Kennedy the boot. Now they are both under investigation for fraud and money laundering.

More to the point is how they managed to charge millions before the drug company even noticed the extravagance? And you wonder why prescription drugs are so expensive? (See creepy Pharma Bro, below)

Kennedy, adding stupidity to stupefaction, told cops, “My mistake was trusting her.” You think?

Then there’s the 28-year-old New York City guy with too much jewelry who picked up a woman at 1Oak who happily went home with him to his swanky pad in Hell’s Kitchen at 4:30 a.m. After the numbskull fell asleep she stole his $ 50,000 Rolex and $ 20,000 in jewelry.

How drunk or dense do you have to be to take a stranger home and then fall asleep with $ 70,000 in jewelry laying around? More to the point, how does a 28-year-old manage to have that kind of bling in the first place?

Scott Kennedy (l.) ran up his company card with over $  5 million in purchases with a professional escort Crystal Lundberg.

Scott Kennedy (l.) ran up his company card with over $ 5 million in purchases with a professional escort Crystal Lundberg.

(Obtained by News)

TRUMPS TRAVEL ON OUR DIME

President Trump, who spent way too much time hating on President Obama and family for taking vacations with Tweets like “The Obama’s Spain vacation cost taxpayers over $ 476K They love to spend money,” has embarked on a 17-day vacation at his own luxury resort in New Jersey.

Since Trump calls the White House a dump, it’s no wonder he’s spent 12 weekends out of 29 as President hanging at Mar-a-Lago at a cost to taxpayers of $ 32 million.

Then there are the lesser Trumps, whose vacation and travel bills are also on the arm. Ours.

Not Released (NR)

Trump spent 12 of his first 29 weeks in the White House at his Florida resort.

(MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images)

Tiffany Trump’s German vacation with her boyfriend cost us $ 22,000 in Secret Service hotel accommodations, Eric Trump’s trip to Uraguay cost us $ 98,000, and when the Trump sons went to Vancouver to open a Trump hotel it cost taxpayers $ 53,000 for — I swear! — hotel bills for the Secret Service.

Eric Trump’s two-night stay in Punta Cana cost us $ 88,320 in Secret Service hotel rooms plus another $ 9,510 for diplomatic “support” staff. Multimillionaire Ivanka and Jared’s family ski trip cost taxpayers $ 88,320.

To paraphrase The Donald: They sure love to spend our money.

Lara Trump posted this photo of herself, husband Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump and husband Jared Kushner skiiing March 21 in Aspen, Colorado.

Lara Trump posted this photo of herself, husband Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump and husband Jared Kushner skiiing March 21 in Aspen, Colorado.

(Lara Trump via Instagram)

EXPRESS LINES

Guilty Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli, the face of soulless pharmaceutical greed, finally has something worth value: A possible 20-year prison sentence on two counts of securities fraud. Maybe he can spend his time in the can explaining to HIV-positive inmates why he raised the price of a life-saving AIDS drug by 5,000 percent. Surely, they’ll understand. Or not … From the Daily News’ Brian Niemietz: If all the news coming out about the White House is fake, than what makes them think they have so many leaks? “That’s not true — and who gave you that information?” Instead of making everyone at the White House take a lie-detector test, it might be a lot less time consuming to just make the President take one and call it a day.

RIP MANHATTAN

Manhattan, which is now officially the uncoolest borough what with its neighborhoods destroyed by Russian, Chinese and Euro big-money high-rises and hideous mall stores, has just had another nail slammed into its coffin. That most beloved little bistro, La Luncheonette, which was forced to close its doors on 10th Avenue, is being replaced by an organic deli owned by a guy who owns a string of them in New Jersey. Who wants French anyway, when you can have Jersey?

Maybe Martin Shkreli  can spend his time in the can explaining to HIV-positive inmates why he raised the price of a life-saving AIDS drug by 5,000 percent.

Maybe Martin Shkreli can spend his time in the can explaining to HIV-positive inmates why he raised the price of a life-saving AIDS drug by 5,000 percent.

(Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Tags:
eric bolling
fox news
sex crimes

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